I was having dinner with my kids and a friend the other day when I totally choked. I even found myself doing the univeral sign for choking. (I use to roll my eyes when I demonstrated that. Never again.) My friend that took my CPR class a few months ago came up behind me and managed to dislodge the piece of asparagus.
I was discussing with HB after the incident about how important mommy’s job was and how if I had not taught T to know how to react I probably would have had major problems. I asked him what he would do if someone was choking and asked what the first step would be. His response was simple….”GIVE THEM A WEDGIE!!!!!!!!!!!” Good Lord have mercy on me.

It has been a hectic time of year for our business and so I find myself cooking for the kids, but I do not show myself the same kindness.
I never use to like junk food. As time has gone on I have noticed that trying to catch up with life equals not taking care of myself and eating on the fly. Instant gratification. I cook wholesome meals for my children, but when I work I leave it to them and either the sitter or HH and head out and catch something on the way. Honestly, it has become a habit.
I think this holiday season’s lifestyle change is going to be trying to do something wholesome and right for myself as well as for them. They need me around as they get older. I somehow can’t believe it has come to this.
I was a stay at home mom for 10 years. This working and managing everything else I have not gotten down yet. There is definate room for improvement.

I paid 1.59 for gas today!!!!!!! To fill my tank was about 32.00!!!!!!!! (insert HAPPY DANCE HERE!)

Ok…I get it…my last post was too long. Note taken.

When I was a child of 6 my grandmother made dolls for the Salvation Army. She also would send some over with my aunt who was a missionary to Korea. This being said I had a glorious Christmas the year before my grandfather passed away and made out with a set of dolls and handmade doll beds. I was so happy.
We got home after New Years that year. We normally only stayed until the 29th but this time it was different. When we got home my parents informed us that we had been chosen to go to the rescue mission downtown and serve dinner there for the next week. I could think of nothing more boring than serving dinner to people that smelled like stuff I didn’t recognize and had not taken a bath in ages. Some to me were very scary. Needless to say my point fell on deaf ears and we went.
When we arrived the mission was not only for men, it also had women and children. It was not at all what I had expected. Yes, there were people that smelled like we could have pickled them in their own juices, but still all in all it was a great experience. I found a little girl just about 1 year younger than me and asked her to play. She would not talk to me but kept looking longingly at my doll. I had already put my name and address on her foot in permanent marker that was how much I loved her. Miss Patricia (my doll) was just ever so pink and lovely.
When we got ready to leave, Miss Patricia was in the other little girls’ arms. I fought back the tears while looking at this girl who clearly loved my Miss Patty. Oh the sheer horror of thinking of my life without her or sleeping a night without her. As my conscious picked at me I finally took a deep breath and asked her if she wanted Miss Patty. She looked as if she was going to cry. Her mom agreed with tears in her eyes that if I wanted to give her daughter Miss Patty then that was my choice.
That night while trying to go to sleep I kept thinking about Miss Patty and where her new home would be. I wondered if she was as lonely as I was without her. The first few nights I cried in my pillow while my heart missed her.
Three days after giving up Miss Patty I received a package in the mail from my grandmother. My mother had told her about the giving up of Patty and my grandmother had just made another little doll that looked exactly like Miss Patty and sent her to me. She wrote a little note that said, “When one selflessly gives up something that they love so dear and another is blessed that is the love of God. I know you miss Miss Patty, but she had a sister here that was lonely for a little girl that would love her. I know you will care and love her with all of your heart. I love you….MeeMa”.
I did love that little baby doll. As I packed up my things for college and then later left to move to Florida, Miss Pattytwo came with me. For some reason I could not part with her. She had been made with such love and care from my grandmother that selflessly gave her time and money to make such dolls for people all over the world. My grandmother’s health had been failing for years so it felt strange leaving Miss Pattytwo at home.
When I came back from Florida I was engaged to Hula Hubby. I moved back home to be able to plan our wedding and save money for our life together. Hula Hubby moved to the Bahamas to try to get experience so that he could actually get a job in the states. It was a long few years. Miss Pattytwo sat ever so faithful on my bed.
Two days before I was to be married I received a package in the mail from someone I did not know. We had been receiving packages for the wedding, but this one was different. I opened it up and inside was a letter that explained to, “OPEN FIRST”. I opened the note and inside the words caught me off guard.
“Dear Tammy,
I can only hope this note reaches you. I hope you have not moved. Before you open what is in the box I need to explain.
I met you 18 years ago in a shelter downtown. My mom had just left my dad. He had beaten her up pretty good after a long binge. That night she had the strength to finally leave him, but was terrified to think that we might actually have to live on the streets. She felt that there was nothing good and pure in the world anymore. Her anger over her circumstances had left a pretty impressionable mark on my young self even at 5. (Almost 6)
That night you came to the shelter you so willingly gave me your most prized possession. I could tell that you did not want to give up Miss Patty. (Yes I kept her name the same) The point is that you did. Miss Patty was my security blanket during a very trying childhood. Every time I looked at her though I knew that she was only on lend. Even though she felt completely mine I also knew that I would return her one-day.
Please find Miss Patty in a very loved in state. She was my strength and security for so many years. Thank you for sharing you love and her love with me.” She signed it with her name and address and phone number.
I stood up a little shocked that I was receiving this type of a box back. I unwrapped a wonderfully loved Miss Patty. She looked like she had been absolutely cherished for many years. I promptly put her back in the box and called the phone number on the note. The little girl now woman answered. We talked for a few hours that first day. Later we met for coffee. After that we became great friends.
About three years ago she got married and last weekend I went to her baby shower. She found out that she is having a little girl. Her life has turned out quite different than she thought it would with a good loving husband and friends that love her and care about her. At her shower we all gave her different gifts. I asked her if I could later give mine privately to her. She agreed with a suspicious look on her face. It was a wonderful celebration and she received many lovely gifts. At the end I stayed to help them clean up. We had a few moments together before I left. I handed her the gift I had brought. She opened it. Inside was Miss Patty with a note of explanation.
“Miss Patty became yours as soon as you held her that night we met in the shelter. Yes, I would be lying if I said that I did not miss her, but I kind of always knew she was loved as much or more than I would have loved her.” She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face. “Every little girl deserves something that was near and dear to their mommy’s heart. That was your doll. Please accept her back and know that she is and always will be yours.” She cried as she pulled her precious Patty from the box. She looked her over from top to bottom. Then she looked at her foot. I had tried to remove my address from her one foot. On the other I had put her name and address. I feel as if Miss Patty will be loved by another little girl for years to come.

On Friday Avrial had her school play. It was a fabulous time watching 6th graders awkwardly handle their lines. Fun times. All in all it was a raving success. Before we left for the play HB had gone outside and left our back door open. We try never to do this because we have an old old kitty named Pooter that is a bit on the senile side and forgets himself. He runs out the back door and thinks he is Pooter…King of the outside jungle. One small factor…he does not have front claws. This is dangerous for a kitty who has not been to the outer limits. Needless to say, he got out.
We did not break the news to Hula Girl until after the performance. We had looked and looked for him before the play but could not find him. She had been at play make up and dress so she did not know all of the drama. She was determined. Her voice did a kind of scream-cry-wail sound that just broke my heart. It was dark but we went out looking. We hit every neighbor’s house that would open the door to us. Finally at the end of our block we knocked on a lovely older lady’s house. She explained that the neighbor right on the open space had called and said that they found a kitty in their bushes that was lovely and white. Right away we knew it had to be Pooter. That had been hours ago. HG started running to the open space crying her eyes out. (there are fox, and other such preditors)
Meanwhile back at the house, Hula Boy felt so horrible that he started making posters. My favorite is as follows…..

.05$ hooevr fin oor cat (in lovely penmanship and a picture of what we can only assume to be a cat)

Translated that is 5 cents hooever finds our cat. He made 5 such lovely posters.

Ok now back to the screaming, wailing child that now had the neighborhood in a twitter. HG ran up to the door at the end of the block and rang the doorbell several times. They finally came to answer the door. When the light from their porch went out we heard a very loud “RRREEEOOOOWWWW”. HG started screaming that she though she found him. The poor people at the door were shell shocked from the amount of noise I am sure. HG climbed in the juniper bushes not even thinking of the stickers and rescued our cat. He started purring bless his deaf soul. When he saw me he jumped out of her arms and lunged at me. I caught him. He relaxed in a content cuddle of tears and cries. I had brought a long a can of food and opened it up and he ate in my arms.
We walked home again understanding that blessing after blessing has come into our lives this year from trial. This one again had a happy ending. Pooter has been found and Hula Boy delivered his 5 cents and thank you note to the giggling neighbors.

Conversation with HB

“Mommy I am SO mad!”
“Why?”
“A kid at school took my pages that I was going to make a useless book out of!”
blink….”Huh?”
“He took my red page, my green page and then he stepped on my yellow page.”
“Honey, where did you learn about this useless book?”
“In chapel. It’s useless though….it has no pictures or words.”
snort sort giggle “Honey, do you mean the Wordless Book? The one that goes with the song about the plan of salvation?”
“YES! That’s what I was telling you! The WORTHLESS BOOK!!”
“No sweetie the WORDLESS BOOK.”
“Well whatever. I just don’t see how a book without pictures or words could be worth anything but there you have it.”
**leaves room to have fits of laughter**

So instead of commenting on the election (because I did vote and if I choose to gripe I can) I am going to discuss some recent changes to my life.
About 3-4 months ago I was diagnosed with late onset congenital adreanal hyperplasia. All in a nutshell my genetics are having a hay day in my body! Anyway, I had an apnea test last Friday and it came out that I have extreme apnea. So instead of shrugging it off, I am trying to take action. I am tired of being tired and worn down. I’m tired of being a grumpy rump. I am tired of having no energy so I am trying to fight back.
Yesterday I took my first step to health. I don’t know how long I will be able to stick with it but I am going to try. I put one foot in front of the other and completed one mile on our mountain. Our mountain is not easy to walk, but I did it two days in a row.
For my sake and for my children’s sanity I want so bad to stick with this. I know one mile won’t be what I stick with forever, but I don’t have the ability to go to the gym…period. I have children and have difficulty leaving them in childcare where my 11 1/2 year old is bored to the gord and my 6 year old…well he’s fine. I just don’t like to do it and I refuse to pay for a gym membership and sign a contract. I won’t do it. I think those type of contracts are rediculous. But then on top of it I have to pay for a sitter. DO YOU HEAR THAT ALL OF YOU BIG GYMS…THERE ARE SOME OF US THAT THINK THE IDEA OF PAYING AS WE GO IS FABULOUS. It hits the pocketbook like nothing else. So I have to do something. I hope 1 mile is enough to start out with.
Starting again is difficult, but a must. I must beat this. We have come through so much already, I feel confident that this is another thing that can be whipped into shape.

If you do nothing else today…just vote. Stop laundry, leave work, be late to pick up kids (just kidding) stop taking care of dishes..JUST VOTE. I mailed in mine.

So I think the drama of the summer is coming to an end. We have officially moved into our home now and are unpacking. Next Tuesday will be the unveiling because the carpet will be done then. We still have the upstairs hardwood floors to do but that will just take time and savings so until we can pay cash….no floor. We’re kind of weird that way I guess.
We started planning our trip to Disney. We have always gone the very last day of school which generally ends up being the last week in May. It’s crowded as all get out but still fun. This time I think we will go the last week in April. Any person that has been there then please let us know if that’s a good time to go or not. We had promised HH’s sister that if she made it through kidney transplant surgery that we would take her with us. She was doped up when I told her that yet amazingly enough she pulled through on the other end without a hitch. She’s amazing.
So I’m just chatting away just to say hello and let you know that I will be officially on the block again. May be not every day, but I have a little more time now without the house haning on my neck.