On our way to Finland via London. I’m so ready to leave that time is standing still. I’m so anxious that I’ve cleaned the house several times over and done the laundry until there’s nothing left. I will come home to a clean house though. The part I love is without laundry. I always wash clothes before we come home on the last day so all I have to do is throw the pack in each person’s room and they can unload it directly into their drawers. I know. I’m weird.
Hugs and kisses and smooches. I’m out of here. I will probably blog my adventures as I go.

Thank you all for your concern and your prayers. I am anxiously awaiting the call from the doctor today. I will keep you up to date once we know the outcome of that.
On a different note……………………………………………………………

I was in the grocery store yesterday with my children and noticed this woman with her two children. She was obviously frustrated and angry with the little one because he was nothing short of a hellion.
As I sat and watched this woman reach her breaking point I could relate in a huge way but also noticed that she ignored the bad behavior. IGNORED!! Being that I have no patience for ill mannered children (which yes mine can be that way some times) I pulled my cart up and next to hers. While reaching down to get the snacks for the plane I wanted to give him my best “hairy eyeball”. It’s a look that I reserve only for the worst of times. It’s a clunker. As I looked over at this little boy I realized that he just wanted her attention.
I know as a parent myself there are some times that my full complete attention can’t be on my children. I know also that there are times that I am guilty of agenda tunnel vision. I try to be consistant yet loving at all times, but there are points that I am guilty of anger and frustration and showing them my ugly side.
Oh this parenting thing. I swear there are some days that I don’t feel up to the challenge but push on knowing that they are the better for it in the end. I know that being their friend is not the purpose, but being loving and supportive and guiding is the goal. Parenting to me is a balancing act that walks a fine line. Some days that line is just a bit blurry.

So the test turned out to be positive. They want the kids to go through genetics testing sometime soon. Kind of a drag, but I am not going to let that be in the way. Life is too good to stop living now.
My life will consist of therapies, and more blood tests and such but I can not complain. Life is good. My children and husband are healthy and happy. Life could not be sweeter.
I think I’ll take a trip. Say…I think we’ll go to Europe next week. Forget the tests and therapies for 6 weeks and take off. I think we’ll go Wednesday.
So Wednesday we will be starting in Finland and heading then down through Russia by train. After Russia we will stay in Kiev with my wonderful cousin who is a missionary. Then I think we will go to Budapest, and then head out to our favorite spot…Croatia and Bosnia. Then we will hit Greece, Italy, France, Germany and Brussels. Yep I’m ready to live a bit.

So I haven’t heard much from the doctors yet. I hope to be hearing something today.

On a much brighter note….LAST DAY OF SCHOOL IS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait to sleep in and play all day. Oh wait…that’s their job not mine.

I have been kind of off and on for a while now. I now can kind of let you in as to why. Besides the fact that I am a mom of two wonderful children and also working, that is not truly what has been keeping me away.
For a while now I have not been feeling myself. I do not generally talk about it because I don’t really want to come off as a nervous whiner. This is different.
Tomorrow I would ask for your prayers as I go to the hospital for my 10th round of tests and also start infusion treatments. No, not blood infusions. I am going for a steroid infusion. It is specifically called a cortigal stem test. Heck if I know what all it means, but I do know that serious look on my doctor’s face. The one that says, “Oh crap I’ve been practicing for 20 years and have only seen this once!” kind of look. Unfortunately since the beginnings of these tests I’ve had to stay close to home. I got to leave for the weekend to see Nathan, but they wanted me to stay close in Feb, March and April. I informed them of my sabatical in May. I had to get away. HH and I needed to refocus and stop the hum drum life of test after test after emotional test. They think now that they have it figured out. I am tired of being their pin cushion that’s for sure. We will know for sure after tomorrow.
For now….I am in the hospital every week doing treatments. Wherever you are….at about 8:00 am I will be gowned and facing my fears again. Stinking freaking needles and IV’s. I think I’m being tested by fire!
On the other side of things…I do count each day as a gift. That being said….I do appreciate each and every one of you that stops by. I write mostly for myself, but I have made wonderful friends with a few of you. Thank you so much for your love and support. You are truly a gift to me. So while counting my blessings I have to say….you reader are my blessing.

I love homecomings. I hate goodbyes but homecomings are the best. After being gone for four days I finally got home. The plane I was going to be on from Chicago never really left New Hampshire. So instead I was rerouted to WAshington DC. We had literally 20 minutes to run the concourses. It worked though. I didn’t know how our luggage and things would make it, but they saw to it.
As soon as the kids and I saw each other we ran towards each other like we hadn’t seen each other for years. I was hungry to feel their little bodies close to mine and to hear all about their weekend with Sashoo and Happy. They had an absolute blast.
I went to bed happy and early. The two hour time difference kind of messed me up a little. The birds woke me up at the crack of freak. I know they feel it is their job to do so. On the flip side though I have a moment to write today.
*sigh….life is good
I am so glad to be home.

Honestly, I have been struggling. I have been struggling as I enter the new phase of parenting. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t have a clue. The new phase is…kids in school…me, migrating back into the work place. This being the first school year since being a stay at home mom for 10 years it is filled with internal conflict.
I have enjoyed being back to work. Granted having a personal stake in the business does help that some. Being that I want to be able to afford the fun things is nice. Thankfully I work with my mother or I think I would feel very hampered. She gives me the understanding of having off every time they have an activity. She was a working mom and missed a lot of what I did during the day. She isn’t about to let that happen to her grandchildren. Working with family has its advantages and disadvantages as well. With the obvious stated there were some things that I did not foresee.
The conflict comes in knowing that raising my children has always been the most important focus for me. I chose to stay home. It was my choice. My husband gave me the choice and then supported me. Granted that was not easy. There was a lot of conflict along the way of people not understanding why I would ever chose this. Now as I am choosing to work it makes a difference in how I feel about the fact that I am actually choosing to do so. I know…it’s a merry go round of emotions but it is just that.
I felt driven to be a stay at home mom. Some do not, but I did. Some feel driven by work. I am not wired that way. I feel driven by seeing my family thrive and do well even though our home situation can be different than most. I wanted to be super mom and failed miserably until I realized that no one but me had those expectations. I could only do as much as I could do. The rest could wait.
Even though this is the season of change in my life, I am looking forward to the adventure of life in itself. My children are past the baby and toddler stage and getting into the young lady and boy stage. I am weighing the pros and cons of working. One thing I know for sure is that I am not wasting a day of it. My husband and children will still have priority. That will never change.

So what was someone the other day saying about great hotel s*x? It looks like it’s my weekend away.
Goodbye snow. Hello ocean. Taking off today. New Hampshire here we come!

When it comes to pizza delivery individuals the great debate was whether to tip or not to tip. Some pizza delivery places give a milage bonus, some don’t. The mom and pop one down the street pays below minimum and then you keep the tips. Big chains generally give the above related bonus.
I think that 2-3 dollars on an average order is good. Anything that is for a group then adjust accordingly at 10-15 percent.
That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.