One of the things that I did not think about with HG was her verbiage. When she was little she did not speak a lot due to the fact that she was deaf. When she had surgery and did start speaking she observed a long time and stood in the background before she actually opened her mouth. She was and still is very shy.
HB is not that way at all. He has a case of verbiage diarrhea. There is no filter between his brain and his mouth. He speaks as he sees it in the moment. Last night was one of those moments where I could have crawled into a shell and died. He is an observer but every day is a new day of observances that he had never made before. You never know what is going to happen or say.
We were out at the grocery store and a very beautiful black young lady and her kind of large dad walked by. In awe he yelled, “WOW that brown girl is SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOO pretty. I like her eyes. That brown guy with her is HUGE!” I was so embarrassed as the girl turned around and smiled. I turned to my son and said, “Yes she is beautiful. HB we don’t call people out by the color of their skin. We accept and love no matter how they look. Mommy is big and it would hurt my feelings if some child yelled that I was HUGE in a store.” He looked back at me and said very matter of fact, “Then I would be lying if I did not see that she was brown and he was brown and huge.” Exasperated I then explained that there are some observances that we keep to ourselves because we would not want to hurt another person’s feelings. The man and his daughter came over. I just wanted to slink away. I started to explain that he was only 5 and that he had never commented before on skin color or on weight. I apologized for him. The older man looked at his and said, “I can tell that his comments were not that of ignorance but of childhood innocence. Do you mind if I set the record straight?” Swallowing hard I told him that that would be ok. He then explained that the color of his skin was brown but if he chose to say what color he was that he preferred black. HB looked at him a big confused and said, “I know my colors! You are definitely not black you are brown.” CCRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP The man laughed and explained that just like his skin was white and pinkish that we didn’t call him pinkish white we called him white. That was his race and his great great great grandparents came from Africa. HB’s explanation…. his were from Chicago, Nebraska and Colorado. With that out of the way the man giggled. In the end HB was corrected in his choice of words. Then at the end of the conversation with a dreamy look in his eyes he said to the girl, “I still think you are almost as pretty as my mommy.” The girl giggled and said, “I think you are handsome and cute.” With that HB got embarrassed and started to his embarrassed jumping around. With a friendly goodbye we proceeded to the check out where I wondered if I could put him up for sale for cheap and someone would take him home. (LOL) As we left the store HB said, “I should have taught that man his colors. He thinks he’s black!! I wonder if he is color blind like daddy?” Oh crap here we go again.

I have been MIA for a while. We had a lot of family come in and out these last few weeks. It’s only been 3 1/2 weeks since surgery and I am doing everything but heavy lifting. I’ll just leave that for HH. Makes him feel needed.
Because it was Thanksgiving and I chose to spend it skiing (ok I was lodge cocoa drinking) I had time to think about all of the things and people I am thankful for.
I am thankful for my family including extended family. My husband and my children are what give me the will to get up every morning. HH is a wonderful husband and provider. ASk me tomorrow I might be mad at him, but today he’s on my A list! (snicker) HG is becoming the beautiful inside and out girl I had dreams about. HB….well….he’s our comic relief and just a lovely personality. My parents are my gift. (I swore as a teenager that would never be the case) My sister and her family are so very precious. HH’s brothers and their families are such a joy. My nieces and nephews are just the best kids in the world, just ask me.
I am thankful that health wise I seem to be feeling a bit like my old self. I feel that sparkle in my step and that feeling of energy to my day. That has not happened in years. This surgery even though it was hard was by far the best choice. I am thankful that my body is starting to cooperate with the adjustments.
I am thankful that both of our children are healthy and strong. I pray almost daily that there will be a cure for HH’s Type 1 diabetes in our lifetime. Other than diabetes he is as healthy as a horse.
I am thankful for my friends both on line and in person. I have been lucky enough to meet several bloggers. Their lives have touched mine in such a wonderful way. Some I have just spoken with on the phone. If I ever meet a few of them I am sure that we would have a wonderful time.
I am thankful for the provisions that God has blessed us with. The simple things that we take for granted every day such as food, clothing, vehicles, money to get by day to day…etc…etc.
I am so grateful for you my dear readers. You have inspired me to look into myself and have encouraged me to dream bigger than I thought was possible. I am thankful for you.
Hope your Thanksgiving was blessed.

Why is it that when there is school it takes an act of God to raise the sleeping children. YET when it is a day off of school they get up at the crack of FREAKING DAWN.
3 am HB came downstairs to inform me that he could not sleep because his bottom was cold. This is a valid point considering he took off his PJ’s in the middle of the night because he was hot. I told him to put his jammies back on and go to bed. He did. An hour later he woke me up to tell me that he was having bad dreams. AAAAAAACCCCCCCCH. So I broke the rules. I let him come into my bed so that I could get a little peace and sleep. Did it work? Yep…until about 5:30. He decided to get up and PLAY.
Oh he is so taking a nap this afternoon….and I may join him. The rules of where he sleeps will not be broken. I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP!!!

We had our Thanksgiving today. I know we are dorks having it so early but it is done for very good reason.
My mother and father, when they were first married, were split between which home they would spend what holiday. She never wanted that for her girls. Her only explanation was….”They are also your family. It is more important that you always be the flexible one so that it makes their lives easier and less stress for you.” I didn’t realize how wonderful that was until I had my first Thanksgiving with my in laws. We never had to leave at a particular time. We never had to rush out feeling that we were in “turkey coma” round two. It has always been a very relaxing thing.
Another thing on my list to be thankful for. A mom that in her wisdom that had the insight to know that it wasn’t the exact date that was important…it was the meaning.

When I was getting ready for surgery I was an emotional wreck. I kept contemplating how I would feel about having all of my reproductive parts gone. I could not imagine how the finality of it all would feel. I was just so emotional that I was on the verge of tears with every question the nurses asked.
When it was time for me to get in my gown I started to really get nutty. A serge of panic went through my body. All of a sudden I felt unsure and not ready to proceed forward. A silent scream stuck in my throat. I was terrified.
The nurse then approached me and told me it was time to start the IV. I really started to panic then. Out of no where I started to hysterically cry. “I WANT MY MOM! I WANT MY MOM. NOW!! I WANT MY MOM!” I was like a 3 year old having a melt down. They obliged and sent for my mother who was waiting outside the OR doors.
After talking with my mom she told me the most horrible feeling she had was to hand me over to them knowing I would be afraid. She heard my cries out in the hall and her heart went out to me. She wanted to be there to comfort me even though I am her 38 year old daughter.
It just shows me that you are never too old to want your mom. Also it reinforced to me that you don’t stop being a mom the moment they turn 18 and move away. It only makes the bond stronger. Motherhood does not stop. It is a lifetime committment. Thank you mom for everything.

HB has been having bad dreams. We never dealt with this with HG. She just plain would not make up an excuse to not sleep. She just would lie there singing until she finally went to sleep. HB on the other hand is absolutely terrified of volcanoes. Yes, volcanoes. I don’t understand it, but somehow he thinks that they will soon be erupting under our home.
Last night HH told HB that if he went to sleep that in the morning they would again look up volcanoes and see that they are nowhere near here. SO that’s exactly what HB decided to do at 6:00 this morning. He got up, got dressed and was ready to learn about volcanoes. Problem was that HH was still in bed…. ZONKED.
Nothing like waking up to a chatterbox 5 year old that sneak attacks with a flying leap onto the bed right into HH’s groin. That’s a lovely way of waking up.

In 1985 I was a junior in high school. My parents could no longer keep me in private school so I had to switch to a public high school. I was terrified. As a junior I was told that I had to start thinking about a career. All I ever wanted to do was be on Broadway or a mom, so I tried to think of another alternative that I would enjoy. I decided that I would volunteer at a school for the handicap to see if that was what I wanted to do. The day I walked through the doors of FM School I did not realize that my life would indeed be changed and marked in such a deep and positive way.
I volunteered in many classrooms and many age groups. I enjoyed them all. I found fulfillment in each smile I provoked. I reveled in each accomplishment that may have seemed small to some but was so big to them. I loved their simple approach to life. The smallest things would make them happy. The large things would sometimes be overwhelming. There I met Special Auntie K.
Auntie K was (and still is) the happiest person I know. She had endured so many years of surgeries, problems, pain and she marched right through them. She approached each day with a lighthearted attitude and zest for life. I often wondered how one with so many physical problems could be seemingly unaffected by everything and approach it with a positive energetic attitude.
After my junior year I left the school and decided that I would go ahead and train to be a teacher for special needs children. My senior year I met HH in Spanish Class. The first night we went to his home I was introduced to his family. There sat to my astonishment Special Auntie K. (Of course she wasn’t Auntie K then…she was just Special K *giggle) She and I talked for a few minutes and caught up for old times sake. She asked what I was doing there; I told her that I was going on a date with her brother. She thought that was a great idea. HH and I went out a few times, but as life would have it I was busy in my senior year. After graduating I lost track of everyone.
When I called that summer to Special K’s house to talk with her brother she was the one that willingly gave me his number. I account God putting her in our lives so that we would be together. She then became our Special Auntie K that was now related.
All this time Special Auntie K struggled with her health. For her condition she was in pretty good health but still she struggled. She was only born with one kidney. It did not function at a proper level. She still was in a wheelchair. Yet she still took one day at a time and was thrilled with life.
A few years back Special Auntie K and mom took on a surgery that was both nerve wracking for her and for all of us. Her mom decided to give Special Auntie K her kidney. The hours waiting at the hospital seemed endless. After surgery it was determined that the kidney did not take. She would need to do dialysis until she received a new kidney or of course the horrifying alternative was that we would lose her. She did dialysis for 6 years. She went 3 days a week for at least 5 hours to have her blood cleaned. She was put on the list for a donor.
After 2 false alarms finally just 6 weeks ago Special Auntie K was on the receiving end of a kidney. The surgery was successful. As we were visiting one afternoon she looked at me and said, “I will have a normal life now. NO more planning everything around dialysis. What will I do to fill the time? How wonderful is that question?” Then she proceeded to remind me that next time we went to Disney (which will be 2009) that she is inviting herself. It was her time to go. Of course we will oblige her.
She took on her surgery as if it was another step in her life. I felt so foolish complaining about my pain when in fact she had been living with so much for so many years. She is an amazing woman. I look at her and I realize that she was brought here for a much higher purpose. She is here because she was meant to be here. I thought that in school we were teaching her, but now I realize how ignorant that was. All along the road she modeled her life to be content with whatever condition she was in. She was happy with her simplest needs met. She had faith that all would work out. She greeted every day with a smile that would melt the heart of even the toughest person. All along I was the pupil, she was the teacher.

If you can avoid it at all costs, do not try updating your blog while on good pain killers. You end up writing about purple butterflies that somehow grow fangs and get the munchies. Then it developes into a sloth that can not swim in the rising flood waters. Yes, I know some strange dreams have abounded since I have been recovering but somehow they are quite entertaining. Gives me something to do in the down time.
Yes, I am recovering. Last night so far has been the toughest night because I did not keep up with the pain meds plus HH did not come to bed until 2:00 am. That never helps. I do not sleep peaceful when I know that he’s here until he comes to bed.
I came home on Saturday. At least that is what they tell me. I managed to call my friend and begged her to “break me out”. So she came by and they let me go. I had just had 17 staples and a drain removed. I was quite out of it. She said that I moaned and groaned all the way home. I managed to talk about flying monkies and how I was convinced that they were feeding me ostrich eggs for breakfast. I also discussed the fact that I could not poop worth beans and that the gas was KILLING me. I managed a few toots for good measure but at great pains. I don’t know. I am a little embarrassed to say the least, but know that my friends and family love me and give me grace where I can not seem to manage to grant it for myself.
Today I am tired, but remembering to stay on top of my meds. I think I’ll go sleep now and dream more crazy mixed up druggy dreams.

I spoke with Hula for a few minutes today and she sounded SO much better and she feels a lot better too. She is staying in the hospital one more night to make sure her tummy is OK then she will come home tomorrow (Saturday)! YAY!!

Welcome home, Hula! Lots of love and hugs to you!!!

Hi - it’s Karen again. Hula just called me to let me know how she is doing. They finally got her a room about 8pm last night. She’s not in much pain due to the pain medication but it’s making her nauseated. They’re giving her meds for that but between the pain meds and anti-nausea meds, she’s really tired and “loopy.” Her word… not mine

She is in pretty good spirits but really tired. I told her what I wrote on my blog about her and I being a good pair next week (I’m having minor surgery on my calf) when we’ll both be home recovering. We laugh so much when we’re not on pain meds so next week should be interesting and lots of fun. I got a little bit of a laugh out of her about that… and an “Oh Lord.” Yep, good times.

I will update more as I hear more. She wanted me to thank everyone for their prayers and love.