This is the near and dear picture I was referring to in my last post. This is Uncle Genuine and Hula Girl!

When I was pregnant with Hula Girl there were a lot of changes happening in my life. The biggest one of course was that I was going to be a mother for the first time. Other big changes were that my grandparents had come to live with Hula Hubby and I and we were doing hospice care for them and my brother in law was going through a divorce. Talk about a lot to handle!
Sometimes I think that babies are sent as tiny miracles for healing. When Hula Girl was born my grandfather had just passed away and my grandmother was mourning his death. My grandfather and her had been married 67 years. I was her primary care taker. Every day I reminded her that a new baby was coming and that finally she would be able to hold one of her grandchildren for as long as she wanted. She could finally live close to her family. She could love on our child as long as the day lasted. And she did just that.
At the same time Genuine was going through a divorce and shortly thereafter met Mrs. G.
Something that I hold near and dear to me was the day that Genuine came to see Hula Girl at the hospital. He was very uncomfortable because of course I was a woman that had just had gone through labor and had a c section. Plus at that point he did not have children of his own. He didn’t want to hear about the details. That made him gross out with too much information! He wanted to see Hula Girl.
I remember him standing there holding this HUMONGOUS bunny and looking at her in the hospital cart and asking if he could hold her. He was afraid that he would break her. As he picked her up I saw it in his eyes. Then he quietly voiced it…it should have been him. I saw the deepest desires of his heart in that moment of pain.
The day I got home from the hospital he came to our home. He sat in our living room in our Lazy-Boy laid back with our precious little bundle on his chest. In that month, Hula Girl got to know him as a nightly visitor and loved that cuddle with her uncle. He would sometimes talk to her. Sometimes he would just sit in silence. At other times he would prop up his feet and watch TV but every single opportunity he had her on his chest in a little cuddle. It was special uncle/niece time. I feel in those moments his heart started healing from all he had endured in the previous months.
When Genuine and Mrs. G got married we found out that we were going to be blessed with the arrival of a Genuine Niece or Nephew. I remember going to the hospital and seeing our beautiful Genuine Niece. I also remember the look on Genuine’s face. It was his time. He had his heart’s desire. He had everything that life was about sitting beside him and laying on his chest. I remember that moment because I saw the same look in his eye that he had when he held his precious niece…our precious Hula Girl.
These moments though small to some are the most treasured moments to me. Hula Girl came into a world full of so much turmoil, but her birth brought healing and comfort to many. She is our gift. Our gift we were never suppose to receive but were blessed enough to receive it.

Dear Easter Chicken,
I was wondering if next year you could see fit to only lay eggs with whites and no yokes. No I’m not yoking! My children won’t eat the yoke, and I can’t seem to let them go to waste. I DEFINITELY don’t need the cholesterol.
So just to recap…no yokes, only whites.

My heart is heavy for the family of Jessica Lunsford today. The memorial was on TV. I generally do not watch these things, but this was different. I saw so much that moved me to tears.
I saw a father riddled with grief over the loss of his daughter. I saw a police chief that could barely choke out the words of thanks to the community. I saw a community devastated by the death of this beautiful girl.
In the picture above I see life and with eyes wide open she looked like she embraced it. Her smile so confident, her life ahead of her.
Why? I don’t understand it. I don’t want to understand it. How could a young girl not that much older than my dear Hula Girl be abused in this fashion. It makes me afraid of the world my children are living in.
It’s so strange. It’s not about me, it’s about their world. It’s about their life. When I became a mother suddenly I became fearful. Honestly I didn’t know that I could love the way that I love my children. Yes I love Hula Hubby. There is something pure about the love that I feel for my children. It comes from a part of me that I can’t even understand. I now understand my mother’s crazy talk of… “This is going to hurt me more than you.” I now get it. I now understand that hurt as I listen at the door, and tear up after I have put my daughter in time out.
My condolences to Jessica’s family. Your grief is heard around the world. Your cries are echoed in my spirit today.
Rest in peace sweet Jessica.

It is strange to think that this Easter we will be hiding eggs in 6 inches of spring snow! Can I really call it snow when it came down in a sheet of rain with hail, thunder and lightning and then puffy flakes? It’s just plain freaky weather!
I hope your Easter is blessed and everything is beautiful!
For those those that celebrate more than the Easter Bunny I thought I would put a recipe that teaches. It looks interesting. We will try it tonight!
MORE IN THE EXTENDED ENTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(more…)

I have been a little preoccupied with my sick little man. He hasn’t wanted to be far from me in three days! I have not really slept in three days. He did great last night and this morning so far! I think he’s doing much better. At least that’s what the doctor says!
I’ve read Dr. Suess about 100 times (because you know this month is his birthday!) and played the Cheerio game just about as much.
Poor Hula Girl this was her Spring Break and her brother messed it up for her! No really she was so understanding that all of our great plans had to go by the wayside while HB got better.
Today Hula Girl and I are going to a play together. A little time together after being in the sick ward (when you’re not even sick) sounds like great fun.
Keep healthy everyone!

I broke mommy rule #3. I let Hula Boy sleep with me last night. He was not feeling all that great and was coughing hard. I could not stand to listen to him and not be able to touch him and know that he was alright.
I have rarely let our children sleep with me because when Hula Hubby is home I don’t want them to think that it is OK to come into our room and our bed. It is a place of rest from the children! Last night was the exception.
As he curled into my arms and snuggled down deep into the blankets he let out a content sigh. About a minute later I saw him struggling to keep his eyes open. If he caught me looking at him he would open his eyes and start talking to me. So I pretended to go to sleep.
As I looked at him through partially closed eyes I saw the active boy slowly melt. He took on an angelic peaceful look with a small relaxed smile on his face.
I have not taken the time to watch him fall asleep since the last time I nursed him. That was a year and a half ago. With Hula Girl I use to watch the video monitor every night. By the time Hula Boy gets to bed I’m wiped out and ready for bed myself!
He slept peacefully without coughing the rest of the night. He was warm and content in my arms. Of course I didn’t sleep. I was to busy watching his angelic face take on expression as his “eye stories” started.
*Sigh (and yes that was a tired yet content sigh!)

Our household has spring fever. We also have cabin fever. This is never a good combination. There is still about 3 inches of snow in our backyard in the shady spots. It is wet wet wet.
Along with Spring comes spring cleaning. We have been going through closets and our laundry room. It has been adventures in dust bunnies!
So next week we will make an effort on spring break to go outside and enjoy the sunshine. No more spring cleaning for a few days while I enjoy Hula Girl being home. We have a few things that we would like to do. I know we are going swimming and hiking and play outside but other than that I don’t know exactly what we’re going to do. It’s spring break played by ear!

I just need a few minutes of peace. A padded white room will do today.
I watched a friend’s baby that did nothing but cry the entire freaking day. I am a little worn out. When I asked her what to do to help him she said to hold him. Sure enough…I held him and it was as if by magic he turned off the faucet and all was well with the world. He was surrounded by toys and still not happy. He didn’t want me to even play with him. He knows me very well so that was not it. His mom has to hold him all day. Unfortunately, I had a few things to get done today. Poor sad screaming baby.
So my nerves are on end and I feel as if I have been through the wringer today. So Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all….I think I’m going to take a bath and put my ears underwater for a while.

I find it interesting that 2 days after we have this HUGE discussion on breastfeeding, a news story breaks that makes me in one respect nervous and also makes me want to roll my eyes.
Most of my regular readers know me well enough to know that I am generally not controversial. This time I plan to stir the pot a little.
**Warning Controversial Post**

In October two woman gave birth to healthy babies in North Suburban Hospital. One baby was brought to be breastfed and the baby wouldn’t properly latch on. After changing positions she noticed that the baby wasn’t hers and freaked out. (with good reason) The nurses came rushing and gave her the right baby about 20 minutes later.
For all mother’s breathe in and out. This is a nightmare come true BUT the situation was rectified. The baby was with her for may be 10 minutes.
This couple filed a law suit and the woman is claiming Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and negligence. Negligence I will give her. Definitely a problem. HUGE! On the other hand…Post Traumatic Stress Disorder…can I just say….LADY QUIT LOOKING FOR A FREE BUCK AND GET OVER YOURSELF. YOU PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO FREAKING WORK BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CHILD AND ARE LOOKING FOR A WAY TO STAY HOME!!!!!! MOST MOM’S WORRY ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN BEING TAKEN…IT’S NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL. I wouldn’t leave my daughter with anyone but my mother, mother in law and sister (Oh OK my BIL one time for a quick get away) for 2 years. (not even my church nursery)
I know Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I know it well. I know it to the tune of a bank robbery at a bank that I worked at. I know it from the look of how a handgun looks when it is pointed at you and then shot into the air. I know it to the tune of watching my pregnant friend get shot and diving under my desk and losing all control of my body. I know it to the tune of changing my life path and getting out of banking all together.
So that being said, the other mother so far isn’t suing but she probably won’t be too far behind. They have to pay for college some way. The only concern the other mother had (besides that her baby was with someone else which is HUGE) was that she wanted to know if the child was breastfed.
If you want to know more about this story it is HERE
Now before you get me wrong, I do feel the hospital was totally negligent and there should be compensation for that. PTSD…pushing too far. My question…could she be suffering from normal first time mommy hood and Post partum? Point to ponder.