***ATTENTION!! Most of you know that I do not generally cuss on my site. This entry uses a swear word BUT there is a reason and when you read it you will understand.

Walking into the building I felt so small. I felt like a number not a name. I had always been popular and well liked. They could eat me alive I was sure of it. Here I was starting over again. I made my way to the assigned locker and much to my dismay was greeted with a couple kissing in front of it. First thoughts were how many demerits and how many days they would be out of school for such rude acts.
This describes my first day of school my junior year. I had always gone to private Christian schools. They had both been small and manageable. They were always very prim and proper. I was a cheerleader, volleyball player and leader for the school competitions in music, theology debate, theater and sports. I did not have peer pressure because I was the peer pressure. My actions were constantly looked at because I lived inside their bubble of reality. Now I was looking at reality, (nose ring, tattoos and all) in the face.
“What do you want. Quit staring you bitch.” I shuddered with her choice of language. I had never been spoken to in such a manner. The first thought that entered into my mind was that only sailors and loose women used such language. “Um…well….you are in front of my locker.” ” I guess you’re my locker mate!” the rainbow colored hair, tattooed, nose pierced, boy kissing weirdo exclaimed. She said it with such disdain. She looked me up and down and said with a sneer, “So you aren’t broke in yet are ya? A little wet behind the ears.” Then with horror she yelled loudly, “GREAT!!! I get the prude bitch.
How did I get so lucky?”
I never wanted to go to public school. I felt safe in my little world. My father had lost his job years before and the money that they had set aside for our education had run out. I was forced to live outside of my comfort zone. I had already decided that this would be the worst experience ever. I had left my friends, my boyfriend, and my popularity which we know to a teenage girl is worth its weight in gold. I felt lost in the shuffle. Alone and misled. My parents had explained that I would be living “in the world” and I had to set a shining example. How could I do that? How could I survive the first day of what was in my mind hell on earth.
The first 3 class hours flew by. There was so much to do. After lunch I had Spanish Class. I had taken French in my previous school. This school did not offer French. What a crime. I had settled on Spanish because I did not think I could speak German ever and those were the two choices.
I sat down in Mr. Swisher’s class not knowing how to act. He assigned us study partners. I got stuck with a ski bum that looked a little wild to me. When he spoke to me his voice was gentle and soothing. He seemed genuine and caring. We had an immediate connection.
We gained a great friendship. We went out every other weekend as friends and when the summer came we knew that we would meet up the next year. And we did. He helped me adjust to the unknown inferiority I felt. He always had a great listening ear.
After I graduated from high school we lost track of each other. He hung out with a crowd that was not my style. I was also in college and too mature for a high school guy.
After 3 years when I felt I was at my darkest point, I began thumbing through my Rolodex. I came across his name and gave him a call. His sister said that he had left for Florida and joined the military. She immediately gave me his number and I called. He sounded shocked and amazed that I actually thought about him. As the years and distance melted away I slowly revealed my pain and heartache. He told me that he had thought of me often. He listened to me and gave me his undivided attention. Slowly the door to my heart was opened to love again. We had not seen each other in 3 years. He came home after 2 months of daily phoning and writing each other. The moment I saw him I knew that he was the one that I would love for my lifetime. He proposed a month after at a wedding.
Four years later we tied the knot. August 13, 1994. It was a simple mountain wedding with no tuxedos. The flowers that adorned the platform were geraniums. The nursery that I worked at let me use them for the weekend. A horse drawn carriage brought me to the lovely log church at high noon.
The tattooed strange girl became one of my faithful, loving friends. She would tell you to this day that it was my conservative ways that saved her life. But if the truth be known, knowing her has opened my eyes. Her diversity adds a creative flair to my life. She was to be one of the bridesmaids at my wedding, but she was in labor having her first child.
The change that I had fought so hard against put me on the path to meet the love of my life. It was destiny. It set the scene for maturity and acceptance. I learned through this experience that things are not always as they seem. It opened my heart to many different walks of life. People no matter what they look like are deeper than their skin. They radiate a beauty that can permeate another person’s life and change them forever.