Honestly, I have been struggling. I have been struggling as I enter the new phase of parenting. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t have a clue. The new phase is…kids in school…me, migrating back into the work place. This being the first school year since being a stay at home mom for 10 years it is filled with internal conflict.
I have enjoyed being back to work. Granted having a personal stake in the business does help that some. Being that I want to be able to afford the fun things is nice. Thankfully I work with my mother or I think I would feel very hampered. She gives me the understanding of having off every time they have an activity. She was a working mom and missed a lot of what I did during the day. She isn’t about to let that happen to her grandchildren. Working with family has its advantages and disadvantages as well. With the obvious stated there were some things that I did not foresee.
The conflict comes in knowing that raising my children has always been the most important focus for me. I chose to stay home. It was my choice. My husband gave me the choice and then supported me. Granted that was not easy. There was a lot of conflict along the way of people not understanding why I would ever chose this. Now as I am choosing to work it makes a difference in how I feel about the fact that I am actually choosing to do so. I know…it’s a merry go round of emotions but it is just that.
I felt driven to be a stay at home mom. Some do not, but I did. Some feel driven by work. I am not wired that way. I feel driven by seeing my family thrive and do well even though our home situation can be different than most. I wanted to be super mom and failed miserably until I realized that no one but me had those expectations. I could only do as much as I could do. The rest could wait.
Even though this is the season of change in my life, I am looking forward to the adventure of life in itself. My children are past the baby and toddler stage and getting into the young lady and boy stage. I am weighing the pros and cons of working. One thing I know for sure is that I am not wasting a day of it. My husband and children will still have priority. That will never change.

My grandparents owned a large farm when they were living. In this farm house it had 4 main bedrooms upstairs, on the main level it had a parlor that had been converted into a bedroom and then downstairs it had enough room to house a small army of farm hands. There was never a lack of kitties to cuddle, dogs to ride and bulls to tick off.
They owned this dog named Tyke. Tyke was a HUGE dog to me. He was fluffy, fuzzy and had feet that were the size of my mother’s feet I was convinced. Tyke use to let us ride him when we were little and get up on his back. He normally took us and dropped us off. (literally) He would sit his bottom down generally where the newest batch of baby kittens had been added. He was no dummy. Show a little girl a kitten and the attention gets diverted to the babies.
As we got older the farm seemed to get a bit boring, but….. (more…)

My sister has been in India going on two weeks now. She is working with the missionaries and with the people there in India. She is giving classes on health and first aid. I’ve missed her more than I can express. I can not tell you how many times I have picked up the phone in a day to tell her something funny or talk about the kids or just chit chat.
See, as children Hula Sis and I were very close. We often would dream the same dreams. We had our own understanding of each other. We communicated sometimes without words. I always felt bonded to her.
In the troublesome years of being a teen we often had issues talking. Normally our words were filled with anger and frustration. She was mostly frustrated with me because I was a slob and it crimped her style. Regardless even though at times we did not like each other we have always loved each other.
When we had children 13 months apart (Hula Girl being the oldest) it brought our relationship even closer. Motherhood became the common bond that tied us together.
On Sunday she comes home after being gone a month. I can not wait to be able to see her or just pick up the phone to talk to her. I have missed her very much. Yes, she is very loved.

I have never made salsa before. Yes, I am a gringo with the taste buds that run for cover when the mild sauce at Taco Bell runs amok. Karen decided to make salsa for our family get together. My father has a gut of steel. I swear you can feed that man anything and he can take it. He may sweat a little but he can take it. Hot food reminds me of the infamous “Kim Che” incident when I was a child. Now that is worth an entry all in itself.
When I was about 9 years old (my sister was we went to Arizona for Christmas. We did this every year because my mom’s family got together there. It was a crazy time of 9 cousins and a swimming pool. We had a blast. I swear we spent our Christmas Eve in the pool opening our Christmas presents. (OK that’s a slight over exaggeration but not by much)
Every four years my aunt who is about 6′5″ and about 300 pounds would come home on furlough from being a missionary in Korea. (Yep she scared Jesus into those people) When she would come home we knew we were faced with the stinkiest ride home EVER. Every time she brought home Kim Chee as a gift to my father. My father’s mouth would start to water in about Albuquerque knowing that it was only another 8 hours of driving before he would be in spicy heaven. We all tremor-ed in fear knowing that we would be living in smelly gas hell.
All week long I would hear, “ROBERT….KNOCK IT OFF!!” and my dad would giggle like he was 8 years old. One time I went in their room in the midst of a dutch oven. Not a pretty sight or smell.
On the way home it was about 9 hours to Albuquerque and then another 8 into Denver. I remember smelling hints of rotten eggs around Flagstaff. “OK what died?” was the question of the hour. It would come in fragrant whiffs. Finally we had to drive with the windows open it was so bad.
In Albuquerque we discovered part of the issue. A small amount of leakage from the Kim Chee container was very evident as I heard my father say “DOG GONE IT” (which for him meant the worst cuss word ever) He gathered up his precious cargo and took it to clean it off and put the container into a Ziploc bag. In the mean time he consumed half of the jar. (much to my mother’s dismay)
The next morning our hotel room smelled like something out of a horror flick. My sister and I slept with the fitful knowledge that rotten eggs existed permanently in our lives. The wallpaper started to peel in the bathroom. The ride home would be a long trip. The waves of nausea would come with the tides of Kim Chee smell. Occasionally we had to stop so that I could hang my head out the window to get sick.
When we got home it was the fastest exit in history. We all fought for the washing machine so that we could get the permeated smell out of everything. The shower was the next popular last stand. My sister actually begged to shower with me. (that was a first since we were like 5)
The infamous year reminded me of the salsa making and the effects this gift will have on my father. He will be in his glory. My mother will scowl and slip him some Beano in his dinner. At least I don’t live there anymore!

So…I’ve been taking a little sabbatical. I have not been ignoring on purpose. Life has been busy! Children have kept me busy, school has been nuts and laundry had to get caught up. You know…priorities!

Today my father called me and this is how the conversation went…
Dad - “Hey do you have a pellet gun?”
ME - “HUH? What are you talking about. You don’t do guns!”
Dad - “I do when I have a freaking squirrel that has chewed through the roof in my house and now is scampering about! I’m tired of listening to the pitter patter of her little feet! I’ve had enough! I’m going postal!”
ME - “OK. (thinking OMG to myself) So you think that by shooting in your roof with a pellet gun that you’ll get her? What are you thinking?” Also thinking to myself….gun…madman…NO WAY!

This squirrel and my dad have history. Two years ago this same squirrel got into their attic and went through every container that they had so that she could have her babies. She had them…in my parent’s attic. The scampering and noise use to drive my parents crazy. They called a unit from animal control and they couldn’t catch her. They tried humane traps. She took the bait, tripped the trap but escaped. I swear this squirrel has teeth that can go through metal. She’s one determined female.
During the winter my dad finally caught her and let her out. He fixed the hole in the roof that she caused and all was peaceful…for a day. On the evening of the 2nd day he heard the pitter patter and thought it was just that he had lived with it so long that he was dreaming it. NO! She got in through the vents. She chewed through the metal vents and got back inside. They got a company to come out and “extract” her from the attic. They were outfoxed by this little animal.
My father was up most of the night last night listening to her start her bed for herself. She is preparing for the start of the mating season. Last night with all of her cavorting she kept both of my parents awake. Well between that and the hole she made in the roof that let all the water in that eventually dripped through the ceiling in the middle of the night. It was like water torture! They were both bleary eyed and a little postal.
When speaking with my dad a little scene out of the movie, “Steel Magnolias” came to mind. You know, the scene where the father wants to get the birds out of the Magnolia trees and does a huge amount of fireworks. He went deaf for a day. There weren’t any birds at the wedding. I couldn’t help but giggle a bit. After telling him the story his voice sounded like he had won the lottery. My mother yelled that he had a wicked grin on his face. Oh great. They’re both nuts now.

I have always been one to never give anything but a positive opinion when an expecting mother shares the secret of the name they have chosen for their child. I feel that is something special and they have a reason for the name no matter how run of the mill, outlandish, normal, strange, tongue twisting the name may be.
When we were expecting with Hula Girl my sister prayed daily for a boy because she hated the girls name that we picked out. She was so vocal about it that I actually told her to shut her trap. When our daughter was born she was so disappointed because in her words, “Now she will have an abnormal start and children will tease her. She will learn to hate her name!” I can tell you with confidence that Hula Girl loves her name. I can also say that she does not generally get teased (except for by her other crazy auntie but that’s only because she loves to watch her yell when she gets teased!)
When we were expecting Hula Boy I knew his name only a month before he was conceived. The difference between their names was that Hula Girl’s name was a dream I had when I was 13. Hula Boy’s name was a dream from the month before we conceived. We were having fertility issues and then I saw him, I heard his name and I knew with confidence that we would soon be expecting a little one.
Again my sister fought with me thinking that the name we chose for him was horrible. How could we do that to a girl but worse yet a boy. She had prayed and prayed for a girl this time because she thought the name was horrible. The girl’s name we had picked out when we were pregnant with Hula Boy was Anastyn Skye. See she was hoping that the nickname Ana would stick. Nope. It did not happen that way at all.
I can respect someone that doesn’t want to share their child’s name ahead of time. In places like Finland they have a specific day that is called, “The Naming Day” and that is when the child gets their name. I do not generally blink an eye when I hear a name. I always say that I love it because for that person I do love it. Granted if you were to name your child Ima Pigg or Eura Pigg I might blink an eye. I would hope secretly that you change your mind but I still would not say anything except words of encouragement.
One of my friend’s is having a baby. She wants an original name that starts with an E. Considering that I have had a part of naming more babies than I can remember this one has me stumped. An original E name for either sex of baby. I am drawing a blank! I am totally stumped. For the next few months I will be doing my homework trying to think or make up something a little more unique. I know one name I will not suggest….Eura considering her last name is Hall.

Before I became a parent I had advice for all of my friends that had children. I was always the sitter they called because I could get their kids to actually go to bed. I was the person they called for advice on how to get some sleep. Before I had children I was totally disillusioned by my own temporary success in helping friends with their children.
Then my own children came along. I literally had to go back and apologize for all of the pig headed comments I made. I noticed that all of my expertise went flying out the window with my sanity. One fact I never considered was that my heart would be a bit more attached. I did not understand that power until I became a parent. The advise to let the baby cry was harder to do with my own. The tricks with behavior that had always worked in the past became a bit more personal. These children reflected on me. Before they were someone else’s issue.
When HG was born she was our Guinna Pig . She was our first. We tried to follow the book to the T. We had structure and routine. It was honestly quite nice because we got lucky and she obliged us! We didn’t realize how good we had it. She was a great child. With all of our energy put into her she was a gem.
Then along came Mr. HB and we again noticed that we didn’t know anything. We started from scratch. The energy that once went into our first child had to spread between the two. We went back and reread the books and did the research only to discover that he was nothing like his sister. He would not be held to a schedule as tight as she was. He was free spirited and fun loving without a care in the world. She being the first born turned into the pleaser and thus the balancing act began.
I never wanted her to feel slighted. We had 5 years of alone time with her. It was a blessing and a gift. I must admit she has become a better person since we had our second. She is less likely to portray her only child tunnel vision. She had expanded her world. He has expanded our world.
The difference between the two of them is like night and day. She is generally quite serious and he is a joker. She is studious and focused, he doesn’t give a rip. I love all of their little bits that make them.
Before I had children I thought I knew how to be a parent. After becoming a mom I realized I just knew the surface. My children are my teachers and I am their student. Every day is a new and wonderful learning experience.

Almost sixteen years ago I was given my first gift and responsibility in a child’s life. It does not sound like much but at 19 years old it was a lot. I took it on and loved every moment.
Fifteen and a half years ago my god daughter was born. Lakota Sue was a miracle and the first birth that I was suppose to attend. Her mom and I were close and we had decided that I would be there for the birth. Lakota being her normal self decided to hurry up, hurry up and then when we would get to the hospital she would relax and go back into hibernation! I was so frustrated.
I was going on vacation with my church to Arizona and sure enough I got on the plane and labor started. I called as soon as I got off the plane and of course she had started labor and it was going fast. I was so upset that I was going to miss it.
As soon as I got back I spent countless hours at their house holding her and playing with her. When her mom married again, I spent a lot of time in the home playing with the kids. I didn’t realize it until I had children what a relief it is to be able to have someone there to tag team with.
Both her and her mom were in my wedding. Lakota was cute as the little ring bearer. She did a great job. During the wedding they were to sit on the step of the platform which she did. When it came time to sit like a lady she decided that she would sit with her legs apart. She was wearing a dress that was long but still she refused to sit like a little lady. It was quite comical.
After her mom got divorced and then remarried again I was starting a family of my own. The husband that she had chosen this time was not only a keeper but a wonderful man. He was good to her, both of the children and he had children. It was like a crazy Brady Bunch. I finally felt that Lakota was getting into a time in her life that she needed to bond with her new father and I would take a back seat. So I did.
We still kept in contact but it was not as often. Still Lakota made sure that I did not lose contact with her.
Time has marched on and now she is 15 almost 16 years old. She spent a lot of the summer at our home and with our children. The relief that I gave her mother she now bestows on me.
She spends a lot of her breaks here and I love it. It is so strange to me that after all of these years she still likes to come over to our home and spend time with us. Even if that means spending an hour watching James Bond with me to make me happy!! *giggle Personally, I think she loves it when the kids go to bed and it’s just her and I. We sit around giving back rubs, fighting pillow wars, and giggling like a bunch of teenagers.
I love you sweetie. Thank you for being the first gift in my life.

Great Grandma is in town. To most that would mean that they sit around and quietly visit about the old days. I must admit that GG has a ton of energy and spirit for an 80 year old lady. To us it means making good on our birthday gift to her every year which is taking pictures with the kids. So Mrs. G and I round up the troops and take them to our local picture place. Now we have a ton of personalities and little people to manage to make this picture work.
When I started this tradition Hula Girl was the only great grandchild. It was easy! Then along came Genuine Girl (to me Genuine Niece) and it still was a breeze. A few years later came Genuine Boy (Genuine Nephew to me) and it was easy for the first 9 months. Then a year went by and we didn’t take a picture. Then Hula Boy joined the gang and it was starting to get complicated!! Genuine Baby had his first picture with GG this year!
So needless to say we could write a comedy on picture taking with GG. Yesterday we had Hula Girl that couldn’t figure out how to smile without looking like she was saying cheese. Genuine Girl was not feeling that great so she just played along. Now then there’s Genuine Boy who is camera phobic! LOL The first year we took pictures with him he kept screaming and climbing off the platform. This year he did 100% better. He still did not want to be there and did not want his picture taken. For the first few he was patient and then he was done. Nana and Mrs. G convinced him to at least stand up there. He did it for a minute but not very willing. So auntie (me) pulled a rabbit out of the hat and started bribing with candy. (bad bad auntie) We at least got a few more shots that way! Unfortunately, all the kids look like they are kissing the camera because they’re all sucking on Skittles! Then Hula Boy started to get impatient and sat there like a bump on a log. He had been taking gorgeous pictures before. AACHCHHH! Baby Genuine was of course a great picture taker until the very end when it was his nap time and he was done. So between sucks on the bottle we would have to quickly take it out of his mouth and then take the picture.
Still this experience was better than last year. I think Mrs. G would agree. The kiddos looked adorable and of course added their own little personality that is now captured on film! (or on disk in this case!)

MORE PICTURES IN THE EXTENDED ENTRY

GG with all the gang

MORE PICTURES IN THE EXTENDED ENTRY!

Hula Girl and Hula Boy

AND JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT THERE ARE MORE PICTURES IN THE EXTENDED ENTRY!! REALLY CUTE ONES TOO!
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The secret is out!!!! I’M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE AGAIN!!! WOOHOO!! Genuine and Mrs. G are going to have baby number 4 sometime in August! AJ is now 5 months old and sometime in August right after he is 1 he will be joined by another little blessing. YAYAYAYAYAY!!
Tra-la-la since I won’t be having any more myself it just makes another one to love on!
Merry Christmas to all! HUGS!