I remember looking in her eyes and seeing the possibilities. I saw our little miracle. Our baby. She was not suppose to happen. Science and doctors said that our chance of having a successful pregnancy was about 20%. I remember looking at her and knowing that doctors only knew part of the equation and then there’s God.
Watching her grow up I have been so proud of her. She is such a light. She has always been my little girl.
We have noticed her changing. She has been changing and becoming her own person. Now at almost 13 she is blossoming into a beautiful young lady.
I know that in reaching this step in a girl’s life where they walk the path towards womanhood that we will have more times where we may not always see eye to eye. Last night reminded me that no matter where she is in her life that she will always need me. She needs me to help her understand and guide her through the changes in her life, her body, her spirit.
We as mothers do not discuss this. It is like the forbidden off subject. This responsibility seems so overwhelming. How is it that I can help guide a woman in having a baby and how to nurse them and care for them, but when it comes to my own I have such mixed emotions on her growing up.
The reality that she is growing up and taking her steps towards womanhood is a bit overwhelming right now. I know the path she is on because I have traveled it. Her detours will be different but the biological path is the same. I only pray that I can help make this transition as easy as possible on her.

What do you get when you have a 7 year old hyped up on Hershey Kisses from a Valentine’s Day party and combo that with a sensitive tween sister and what do you get????
A LOT OF CHAOS.
Yesterday HB came home with mounds of candy from his Valentine’s Day Party. He was overly happy because there is a particular little girl in his class that he likes. She gave him the most candy EVER! He of course had to sample every piece. He was a bit hyper last night.
The increased hyperness had it’s own advantage though. He crashed at about 8:00 without having to be asked. We missed reading time but he was down for the count.
Oh first crushes. He was trying to impress this little girl by eating all of her candy. He in fact made himself SICK. What little boys do to impress little girls.

Setting up the new year creates organization and chaos combined. Between paying taxes and that deadline and looking at traveling again this next year to Brussels, Croatia, Germany Denmark and France it takes a bite out of the budget.
Two years ago we were able to do a month in Eastern Block Europe for around 8,000.00. That in itself is unheard of, BUT we stayed with family in some places and we also used our point from different places that helped with Hotel.
This year is going to be a bit different. We are not staying with family but for the first 4 days. The rest is spent in hotels. We will see where the buck lies after the dust settles.
I love and hate planning trips.

When I was a child we went to Arizona every year for Christmas. I remember thinking that the whole “White Christmas” did not really exist. We saw Christmas as Palm trees, 70 degree weather, fresh oranges and grapefruit off the trees and Santa came in through the front door.
When I was about 17 we stopped going to Arizona and had to develop our own sense of Christmas. I did not think we could ever get close to the magic I felt every year with everyone around. I was wrong.
This year we have snow on the ground still (about 6 inches in the backyard left over from the snow storm a week ago) and we just brought in our Christmas Tree this last weekend. With the knowledge that my house will be a rat race starting tomorrow getting ready for Thursday I am actually at peace wtih that. I think we have finally arrived at the utopia I had when I was a child. Now my children get to reap the benefit.

What happens when your computer crashes, you get a new computer, everything is lost on the other one and you decide to start posting on your blog again???? Absolutely nothing. You wait until you get a lucky break and try to remember how to log in. It’s taken me MONTHS. Yes I am back to see everyone.
Hello again.

I know…it’s been a while. I’m sure that I need to dust off the cobwebs by now.
I have been working a lot and felt like I had nothing to write about. Running kids to and from school has been my life. They are in a new school now that is much further than the other. It’s worth it though. It is also about 600.00 more a month. That part is the killer.
I have been teaching 3 days a week and doing admin work the other two. I have a new found respect for working moms. Not that I did not to begin with but my life is more hectic now. Also the children are in more activities which always makes things a little nuttier.
I hope to be around more. As Hula Girl would yell at the end of a conversation….”I LOVE CHICKENS AND SEE YA SOON.” With that I hope to see you soon.

I swear my computer had my internet favorites and pictures for lunch a few weeks ago. I have not been able to sign on due to the fact that I couldn’t remember my sign on by heart. I mean who really remembers anymore. Just click the favorite and away you go!
More later. Tomorrow is the kid’s big birthday party. We miss you Karen. xxoo.

The mayhem, the mayhem! There’s nothing like three bedrooms piled into the middle of a small livingroom, kitchen and diningroom. In the process of all of this I am running HG all around kingdom come to volleyball camp. NONE OF YOUR WARNED ME! None of you told me that life would be chaotic with a tween. No one said that her schedule would dictate my sanity. I feel as if I have lived in our car. If I have to eat one more on the run meal I will choke! I have to get better prepared.
Unfortunately, with everything else in chaos, Ithink that I will just have to relish in the thought that by Sunday we can start moving back in. HAPPY THOUGHTS. HAPPY THOUGHTS.

It seems amazing to me that one year ago today we were in Russia. Also one year ago today we got the report that our home was flooded. Next week will be the end to that era when we finally put in the last of the flooring. We will finish putting in the hardwood floors this next week.
I feel somewhat nostalgic that our house after being through such turmoil is almost to the point of being done. I told HH that I didn’t want to remodel that kitchen for another year at least. I just want a break from projects and start to live again in our home.
I still am looking for shoes. I can’t seem to find size 11 that works. Ihad a gaggle of shoes and now I have 3 pair. I have money to buy more but can not seem to find what I want. *sigh You would think it would be easier right?
I am thankful today for the new floor going in this week. After a year of hardwork to put it all back together again I just want to hear,”Welcome home Hula family!”

Tonight I was given a gift that some might strage. My mother took me aside and handed me a brown paper bag. She told me that inside it was a gift like no other. I was not to look at it until I got home.
Inside there was a plant. It looked like it probably had been a lilac plant which are one of my favorites. I then saw in the bottom a little note. It took me off guard to see not my mothers handwriting but one I did not recognize. As I opened it the paper cracked with age. I started to read.

“Dear Emma, Please find inside a slip of the old country. Mama and I want you to have a piece of home. This is a piece of the lilac bushes that sits on the property of the big house in Neuchatel. This we give you as a wedding gift carrying on the tradition that was started when your mother and I married and came to the United States. You plant it where your heart is and watch it grow along with your family. We love you and will miss you as we are returning home. God be with you and your life that you are beginning with Milton. May He grant you many happy years as man and wife with many children. Papa and Mama”
They did have many happy years and 4 boys, one of which is my father.
I appreciate the gift of havinga piece of my heritage. Even though it may be in the form of a plant, it is a plant that is over 100 years old. I hope I don’t kill it.